Just a few days ago, I read this really cool article about Tinder. It really made me think about why I even made a Tinder in the first place.
^^^^ I really enjoyed this article, so thank you Giulia (Julia) for sharing your thoughts.
I first made a tinder about 4 months ago. My friend has one, and I would always hear her “giggling”, or saying things like, “oh, we matched!” and whatnot. I was curious. So, one day at work, I asked her what the giggling was about and she would tell me about how she’d talked to this one guy, and then a few more guys, and how those guys would compliment her about how good looking or “hot” she was. To be completely honest, I was jealous. I was jealous that she was getting that kind of attention, and I wasn’t. So, we went out to lunch one day, and she told me download it, and I did. You could make a bio, post a few pictures, and pick how many miles away the guys could be, and if they’re in your area. So, I started swiping right and left. I started to “match” with people. I didn’t really know what to do after that, so I started to message some guys, and they would message back, and we would talk, and eventually hangout. Not gonna lie, I hung out with a few guys from Tinder, and some guys were really sweet, and genuine, and these two guys that I hung out with bought me lunch. It was really cool. We had a good time, nothing crazy happened. We talked, got to know each other a little, and then they went about their ways. And when I say that, I mean, they went back to their homes, which were in the mainland. Kauai is a small island, and to be honestly, I swiped “not interested” to most guys that lived on Kauai only because I know of them, I know them, and I’d rather get to know someone not from the island, that someone who does live here. A few weeks passed, and I continued to message and talk to guys that I never even met. I honestly liked the fact that guys would message me and compliment me here and there, but then I realized that it’s only temporary. Words are temporary. My self-esteem was very low, and I started to rely of those “words” to make me feel good about myself, when really, all it did was make me feel really down about myself. Anyway, I hung out with a few of them, and I was really stoked about it. But of course, Tinder is more of a “hook-up” app, than a “get to know each other, and possibly date” app. I say that with much respect. There were some guys that would write in their bio’s, “looking for a wife”, “I’m looking for someone who can be on the same level as me, and loves dogs, and loves to eat”, etc, but are they really looking for a “wife”, or are they just trying to say something to make us, girls, think that they aren’t just looking for a hook up? They might not even be the person you thought. Anyone can make a facebook, make an app, write a bio, and post pictures. Anyone is capable of that. Also, when you’re swiping left or right, you’re either swiping their bio they wrote, or you’re swiping the pictures they posted. And that’s the truth. When you hangout with someone, you like them because one, their personality, and two, their looks. For me, looks are a bonus. I’m more of a personality kind of person. If you can get along with me, without trying to get into my pants, kudos to you, I’m glad you have a sense of respect. I’m not perfect, and I’m not saying that I haven’t or have hooked up with those I met up with on Tinder. I’m just saying that I went through phase, where Tinder was the first thing I opened up the the morning, to see if anyone messaged me or if I had any new matches, and if I was bored at 11 o-clock pm, Tinder is where I’d go to see if there was anyone to hangout with in the area. Sometimes I think that the reason I made a Tinder is because I’m not good enough for an actual relationship, and that I’m only good enough for hookups, which is NOT true at all. I’m not saying that you can’t find love through Tinder, I’m just saying that it’s not for everyone. If you’re looking for just a hookup friend, then by all means, do you buuu. But if you’re trying to find “love”, let it come to you. Don’t chase it. I’m looking for a lifetime lover, not a nighttime lover. OH, I also downloaded it because it was entertaining. It was like a game, to see how many people you could match with. My friend and I would seriously stand next to each other, and see how many people we couldn’t match with. It made me feel a little less worthy of myself when she would get more matches. So, when I realized that, when I realized that I was looking for love in all the wrong places, when I realized that I was comparing myself to other girls, when I realized that I couldn’t find my kind of love through that, when I realized that I’d rather wait, and be patient for that love to come to me, instead of chasing it, I deleted the app. And now, I’m just living life, Tinder free!
Xoxo, Savvy ❤