I choose you, God.

I’ve been trying too hard to please the wrong eyes…

And then I realized that I was getting tangled on the inside.

My mind was in one place,

My heart was in another.

I almost lost myself again,

I almost went back under.

But I didn’t.

All the things that were at first intact… I let them fall apart.

I kept walking away from the light,

Until all the things I needed wasn’t in my sight.

I let go of the wrong hands

That I held tightly to.

I now stand between two rocks,

I now need to choose.

* I choose You, God! I don’t wanna let go again. Letting go was a huge mistake, and I’m sorry. Thank you, Lord for never letting go. I’ve realized that God never left my side, it was always me that walked away. He never dimmed my light, it was always me that put something in front of the light, to block it. But, you see, even though I was blocking the light, it was still there. You could still see it. God’s light shines so bright, no darkness can overcome it. I don’t wanna block the light anymore, I want the light to shine.

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.

• John 1:4-8

* I added this verse because I think it’s pretty relevant to what I was saying before. John was a witness of the light, he wasn’t “the light.” I am a witness of the light. And I’m not the only one. There are so many people that are shining lights, shining God’s love and truth. And that’s why I don’t wanna block out the light that I have. That light is so precious. Because not only am I blocking out my light, but I’m blocking out other people’s lights that are trying to shine through me. If my light is dim, those around me can brighten it up, by sharing the light.

Xoxo, Savvy ❤

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11 Comments

  1. I have done the same thing. I think God allows us to entertain our natural selves in order for us to experience not relying totally on Him. In due course, we experience the anguish put there by Grace to help us remember

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yessss, of course! And that’s why I’m so thankful that He loves, forgives and gives us new mercies everyday. I realize that when I do walk away from the light, from the things that are of Him, I find myself in a dark place. But that light always has its way of coming back, through Him and people who are shining those lights 🙂 thanks so much!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Hey Savannah.. This is wonderfully written. It may be one of the struggles every Christian can go through at one point or another. The realization that it wasn’t God who left us, but we who walked away… that’s a big turning point. Thanks for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

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